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16 October 2000 For the second day in a row the sun refused to shine so I stayed inside for most of the day and did some serious cleaning. My house definitely needed it. For the past week or so I've just let everything go without really caring. Somehow other things kept me busy and the strange part is that I'm not too sure what they were anymore. Lately most of my actions have been on auto pilot. I was running here to there without any thought on my part. In fact today was probably the first day in a long time that I took some time to think about my life. Unfortunately I didn't come to any new conclusions. ... Talking with Ann has got me caring more about work. Oh, I know that I'm not going anywhere until sometime late next spring, but most of my attention has been focused elsewhere. Now I am truly willing to put some effort into it when I can. I might even go so far as to get a certification to add to my resume. ... I'm not sure if I have really been myself for a while now. Everything seems a little more confused than I remember it being. From an outside perspective I can see that Ann seemed to be on my mind for most of the month of September and some of that has carried on over into October. Now I'm not saying that that bothers me, but at the same time it has had an odd effect on me.
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