clouds of jupiter

 

17 October 2000

With the sun missing for a third day in a row, I thought that this was going to be yet another day where I would feel numb for most of it, but it didn't happen that way. In my mind I was fully prepared to moan and groan about how my life seems to be going nowhere once again. I could feel the sad adjectives of feeling useless ready to pour forth in paragraph after paragraph. Then something in my mood changed and that odd feeling left me.

Maybe getting an early start helped make the inner transformation possible. Somehow I managed to be out the door by nine in the morning to do some laundry and was busy for the rest of the day up until I had to go to work.

...

Five minutes before the end of class, the professor handed back our papers from last week. Thankfully I got the grade that I had been expecting. I got a "B". I knew that what I had written was good, but at the same time I knew that it lacked the final polish to get an "A". The paper didn't have enough in it to go to that next level, but at least I came away with something that made me happy. Now I also know what to do next time to get an even better grade.

It felt good to be validated for thinking. So often I complain that my job leaves me feeling less than fulfilled and now here I had proof that I could do something else with my mind. As silly as it might sound, hearing someone tell me that I did know how to express myself through words was very important to me. It had value. Of course this is just the first step and I have to stick with it through the rest of the semester and into the spring.

 
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