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much some often I really wasn't myself yesterday and I can't say why either. Now that I say that I realize how much that sounds like a cliche, but I wasn't quite me. My thoughts were muddled for most of the day and in some ways the day just seemed to pass me by. Oh, I managed to get some things done like the laundry and the mailing out of some bills, but the day could have been so much better. Later in the day an old coworker of mine called to see what was new in my life and I got to talk about Europe again. Going over all of those adventures made me remember how alive I feel when I am somewhere new and foreign. I know that I'll be going away again next spring, but sometimes that seems to make the coming winter seem that much longer. So often time seems to play tricks with me. ... My good friend Dan in California is trying to set me up with the sister of his girlfriend. In an odd twist of circumstances, she happens to live in my neighborhood even though Dan met his girlfriend in California. I remember that Dan was so disappointed when he learned that his Asian girlfriend did not in fact come from Japan, but from Wisconsin. His whole illusion had been ruined. ... I guess that I didn't feel as though things were right between Ann and I when we parted last week. To put it bluntly her general mood that night toward men was negative and of course I was swept up in this anger despite the fact that I hadn't done anything to her. She is continually being pulled in different directions by two men in her life, which would be her former husband and the father of the unborn child. This puts me somewhere near the bottom of the list. Once again I thinks that she needs some time by herself and I need to start focusing more on my life instead of hers. I can't rely on a future that may or may not happen between us. ... Class gave me something else to focus on this afternoon. We were handed back our exams and I got an "A " on mine. Seeing that made me wonder if I need to focus more on school since it gives me so much more than my job. I love working with words. They make me happy. They make me think. None of this is new to me or to what I have written here. I am a liberal arts guy trapped within a technical world. I work witk Cisco routers, because it pays well. It doesn't make me happy. Now as to what I want to do next has yet to be determined. The thought of living abroad still appeals me, but I can't seem to get the courage to follow through on it. Maybe that is where my future lies. Personally I like the open ended feel that my life offers me. I like the freedom.
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