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high minded lunacy Four in the morning and I've just finished eating a plateful of spaghetti while watching Doctor Zhivago for the first time this year. Lara has just shot Victor. It's a great scene and it never gets old for me. I imagine that most people see it as a romance, but if a person breaks it down, it's a very strange romance. Yuri is married yet he has to be with Lara who is also married. Maybe this explains why I've dated not one but two married women in my past. Forbidden love or something along those lines. My buddy Nicole puts it another way. Whatever lifts your skirt. Crude, but accurate at the same time. I guess that the other argument would be that Yuri and Lara were in fact meant for one another and never should have married those other people. Case solved. Still here I am trying to draw a conclusion about life from a Russian melodrama. Then again women often hold their visions of love up to these same fantasies and they wonder why they don't come true. Sigh. ... Oh, I'm not knocking the people who are truly happy with being someone. For them it works. Its just that I can't quite see myself in a traditional family setting. The trips to other parts of the world would end. I wouldn't be able to change jobs every few years. Everything would be fixed. I suppose that being a father should be enough to make me happy, but I don't think that that is what I want in life. For me that idea is still somewhere in the future. ... I'm never that surprised to hear women complain about their boyfriends or husbands. It all seems natural to me. Some women need that added stress in their lives. If they had the perfect boyfriend or husband they would probably leave him for someone else. These women need someone that they can argue with or have some form of drama that keeps them going. Sometimes these women realize that this is what they do while others deny it to themselves and others. My buddy Nicole would be a good example. She complains about her fiance, but I doubt that this will stop her from marrying him. Yes, there is the matter of their child that they need to consider, but at the same time they should know one another by now. Does this make me think any less of Nicole? No. I still think that she is a wonderful person and I want her to be happpy. As to whether she will be happy with her fiance has yet to be seen. I also know that I couldn't make her happy. I'm not what she wants. Actually she openly admits that she doesn't know what she wants, which makes me respect her more. She doesn't live under any illusions. ... I don't want to be with a woman who needs to be entertained all of the time. I couldn't handle it. I need my time by myself.
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