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more great expectations Going to see a movie on Wednesday night may have cost me sleep, but it was worth it. Just being able to do something other than work and school was truly needed. It was vaguely rebellious of me to finally do something in the middle of the week rather than waiting for the weekend like most people do. Besides I think that I have yet to have a bad time when I'm with Ann. The atmosphere of the fun also helped. Without a doubt I prefer smaller groups of people when I do social activities. Anything larger than four people starts to bother me. I am very much a one on one person. Being able to sit back in a booth and ramble back and forth with one friend or two is all that I need. Sometimes I am so easy to please. ... Once again class went well this morning with Miss Zealot leading the class discussion. Part of me regrets the nickname that I gave her, because the more that I hear her talk the more that I like her. Sometimes I wonder if I was more like her when I was younger. Actually I was probably even more outspoken when I was an undergraduate. In fact I might even go so far as to say that I was an ass. There were many times when I would ramble on at length about some point or another getting more and more emotional the longer I talked. Now however I tend to lean more toward a middle of the road stance mixed with far less aggression when it comes to arguing. Somehow the slightly awkward policy of live and let live has taken root. Maybe the world isn't as clearly defined for me. As often as I try to put some of my past behind me, there are still moments that make me smile. There is truth to the saying that positive events tend to linger just as strong if not stronger than negative ones in a person's memory. I also know that in some ways they helped me get to where I am in life now. Sigh. Here I go sliding into the realm of cliche. Maybe what I am trying to say is that my life has never been error free nor do I expect it to be that way in the future. ... If I were a literary character, I'm not sure who I would be anymore. I'm not a Pip, with great expectations and dreams of being a proper gentleman. Nor am I Nick Adams wandering without direction in a confusing world. Aspiring to the heights of a Stephen Dedalus is also less and less of a possibility for me. If anything I'm me and I like it that way.
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