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looking at cars Those middle of the day entries always make me wonder when I go back to read them later. I almost always sound as though I were operating under the influence of something. On the other hand it was the most that I had written in days. Sometimes the words seem to flow a little easier when my brain is about to shut down. Maybe it sounded like I was being overly critical of Ann, but I can never be that upset with her for very long. It is her life and she can do whatever she wants to do with it. I have no say in the matter. She herself admits that she complicates her life more than she should. Actually I think that she said that her life is a soap opera. To continue with that analogy, we now have the introduction of a new character to the plot. When someone mentioned the possible link between her and a male employee at work she kept telling me not to say anything. I didn't. After some teasing and some flirting I sent her home early on Saturday night to go home and get some sleep. This morning when she came into work I could tell that she hadn't got that much. It wasn't from lack of trying though. She said that her middle daughter kept her awake for most of the night. ... Nicole told me some of the saddest stories Saturday night. Her mom works for a gynecologist and had told her some pregnancy horror stories, one of which involved a woman who was eight months pregnant. It seems that the woman hadn't felt her baby move in two days and started to get concerned. Then when she went in for an ultrasound they learned that the baby was dead. The umbilical cord had wrapped around the baby's neck. A non-fatal version of the same thing had happened to Nicole. When she was in labor someone saw the cord wrapped around her baby's neck when she was still pushing. Thankfully someone had managed to free his neck of the cord before any damage was done. There were a couple more stories form Nicole that were just as depressing, but I got the point of what she was saying. Sometimes a person has to hear the worst to truly appreciate what they have in their life. Nicole was feeling stressed lately about her life, but after hearing what had happened to that woman she was more thankful than ever to have her little boy. Naturally all of this leads back to me, the main character of this epic in progress. When I stand back and look, I have to say that my life is pretty good at the moment. I may not have what I would consider to be the ideal job for me, but I do okay. I could do a lot worse and as they say I have in the past. As for my bitter comments about marriage, well I am sure that that might change as well in the future. I just don't think that it will as traditional as some people might expect of me. ... I spent some quality time with Ann this morning. She had bought her youngest daughter with her to work and it was the first time that I had seen the baby since I saw both of them in the hospital. Obviously she looked bigger and she was certainly more active. Watching Ann and her baby interact was nice. It was the most relaxed that I had seen Ann in a while. Soon Nicole had to hold the baby and coo while I sat and watched. Nicole wants another baby, but there is no way that she could ever afford a second child right now. Ann had brought the baby in so that the father could take her for part of the day to see his family. It was the first time that that had happened and Ann was nervous. That woman has no idea what she wants to do next and it seems to change on a daily basis. One moment she will sound very focused and realize that she had three lives under her care and then the next she talks as though she were still in high school without a worry in the world. For example she has suddenly developed an interest in golf. As to when she will have time to golf, I have no idea. Despite everything that I have said about Ann I would still defend her and do. I truly like the girl even with her tragic life of woe straight from the stage. After Ann kicked me out of work this morning, I was off to the car dealer. Actually I went to two different ones. Yes, I am going to be getting a new car this week. Now I knew that this would be coming, but it still feels odd. The last four years with my car have been good ones, but I am ready for something new. Even at my age I'm not above asking my parents for some advice on buying cars so I made way out to their place to visit and ask some questions.
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