future versions wait

I realize that no one can truly capture who they are in words, but it seems even harder for me. Over my lifetime I have been so many different things.

Unlike so many people today, I can honestly say that I had a great childhood. Oh, there may have been moments where I didn't always do the right thing and was punished for it, but I certainly wasn't an unhappy child. Nor do I think that this is nostalgia talking either. I truly loved the summers that I spent with my grandparents. If I could ever recreate that time in my life, then that would be what I would want the afterlife to be if such a thing does indeed exist.

Childhood only lasts so long though and gave way to the high school version of me full of rants and a need to learn. Following that was a slightly altered version in college knowing that I had no love for a normal nine to five job yet couldn't think of any better alternative. Soon there was the post college years with a couple of journeys down the path to a family life. Some of those versions of me worked better than others.

I guess part of me feels that I finally have my life going where I want it to go and I don't someone else to alter it. For example I can't imagine giving up my love of travel for anyone. I refuse to let it happen. I need to see as much of the world as possible.

I also believe that no one can possibly know me as well as I do. I can talk and talk, but that wouldn't be the same thing as being inside my head.

Maybe some people see this journal as a means of reaching out, but it isn't as though I get flooded with email on a daily basis. No, this is merely me talking to myself and sometimes getting it right in the process. Yes, that all sounds very arrogant and self-centered, but I never said that I was perfect. I am very human.

 
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