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the rain fell Late Saturday night at work I started to feel like myself again. For the first time in days I wasn't either arguing with someone or playing phone tag. I could actually think again and be happy or at the very least not stressed. Flirting with Ann probably helped mellow me out. I wonder if she knew that her nipples were erect for most of the night. I know that I couldn't help noticing that they were highly visible. I also kept wondering if maybe the texture of her bra had something to do with it. From what I could see it had a waffle texture to it and hugged her nicely. Maybe I wasn't supposed to notice, but I did. ... Ann and I hung out together for about three hours this morning. She was busy looking at childrens clothing on eBay while I was looking at antique furniture. Personally I would love to have a couple of nice cedar chests or maybe a nice piece of Asian furniture. I saw more than one lovingly carved Chinese cabinet for auction. Then there were some very elegant coffee tables that appealed to me. Another item on the wish list is a sleigh bed. ... As unhealthy as my bending of the garage door opener may have sounded the other night, it still felt good to get some form of release. There are some people in the world who I would have preferred to bend, but I guess that an inanimate piece of metal will have to suffice. Anger, anger, anger. Frustration. Nicole laughed when she heard my story and jokingly said something about anger management. Then she went on to call me Hercules in a sing song voice. Another coworker made the usual you wouldn't like me when I'm angry comment that I have heard before from him. Banner is very real for some people. Hulk smash. ... On a comic book tangent, I recently read that Orion done by Walter Simonson is going to end with issue twenty-five. Sigh. I should have known that a title so unique and well done as Orion wouldn't be able to survive long in this market. People seem to want to read about mutants and nothing else. I guess that mythic themes just aren't as exciting as Wolverine being gruff and clawing something to shreds. On the other hand Ann and I got a kick out of all the people on eBay trying to cash in on the recent Origin book that came out last week. ... Part of me is starting to think that mortgage lenders exist on the same evolutionary level as car salesmen. No, I take that last statement back. Not all of them are subhuman. One or two of them have been understanding and helpful. The process of having someone examine every detail of my financial life is not a pleasant one though. ... For two weeks in a row, I have sat and watched what I think has to be the most pathetic version of a game show ever. Then again it is British so that might have something to do with it. I believe that the title of the show is Bargain Hunt and the premise is simple if not odd. There are two teams of two people. Each team is assigned a professional antiques person as they sift through items that hopefully will be be sold at a higher price in another auction. They can choose whatever they want using two hundred pounds that they have been given by the show to spend. Now commenting on all of this high energy action is a man who vaguely resembles the late Dudley Moore. He tallies the respective gains and losses of each teams items and then announces the winner. I personally find all of this to be very odd. What I mean is that I can't see any incentive to be on the program. From what I can see no one wins any money and they certainly don't get to take home the items that they chose to auction. None of it makes any sense to me. Yet I still watch it. Sad, very sad. ... I have no idea how much of my mental gymnastics comes through here in the journal. I have never thought of it as beng as confessional as other journals that I have read, but I do the best that I can. I guess what I am trying to say is that I know that my writing is anything, but consistent and sometimes the emotions get muddled. Then there are the random observations on life that I insert here and there. Still whatever does get uploaded is a form of me so that still has value.
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