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no cliches today Most of the emotional turmoil that I created for myself yesterday was gone today. I just didn't have that much time to think about those kinds of things. Other more mundane and or practical things were on my mind instead. Maybe that was a good thing. I don't know. Like I said I didn't have that much time for introspection today. Besides there are parts of my life that have to keep moving forward besides the romance element. Part of me was seriously thinking about putting the whole notion of being with someone behind me. I kept seeing it as something that belonged to an earlier part of my life and was no longer needed in the future. It all made perfect sense to me. I know who I am and I am sure that I will be just fine by myself in the coming years. Playing emotional games is not something that I need anymore. I imagine that all of that must sound completely bitter, but most of my emotions have shut down at this point. The days seem easier to handle under those conditions. ... Once again with the lack of sleep work was a struggle and it took more of an effort than usual to stay positive by the time that I left. Everything that was said and done at work was completely unimportant to me. To put it another way work is very low on my list of priorities. At the moment I need that stagnant element to remain true so that I can put all of my energy into the move next week Saturday. Maybe someone would like to point out to me that the job allowed the move to happen, but I am not overly fond of that cause and effect equation so I ignore it. Now that I reread what I have written so far it must sound as though I am gritting my teeth the whole time. I'm not. I guess I just thought that things would be different and I don't want to hear any pat phrases or evasive answers anymore. ... After work I made my way to my parents place to get some more boxes that they had gotten for me. Once that was done, I was off in search of a new bed. With the new place I want a new look and a bed is a good place to start. I went looking with two things in mind. I wanted either a mission or sleigh style bed. Everything else was wide open. ... Tomorrow is Ann's birthday and I have yet to get her something.
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