Sell Your Soul

I will freely admit that I sometimes live within a world of my own creation. Very seldom do I listen to the media, because I find most of it to be very deceptive and annoying. Last night we actually saw the news and nothing has changed. Highlights of the newscast include chemical castration for sex offenders and the police killing someone. The happy story for the night was a man trying to take care of his thirteen children with some help from the community.

Milwaukee. For a few years the motto for the city was "a great place by a great lake". Whatever.

Brenda made a comment last night that struck me as being harsh. She was talking about how she has been on the run all day long. Then she said, "I don't sit at a desk all day. Do you think that is what I do?" My response was no, but what I was thinking was that I sit at a desk and saw my job as being just as important as hers. True, I don't try to placate the public all day long and force products on them that they might not need, but my job does take a toll on me.

Call it pride if you will, but my job is not a complete waste of time. Nor is my job stress free just because I work from a cubicle.

I guess I have always seen retail as a form of three card monty. Every customer is a mark and the sales people make a living from deception. Let the buyer beware.

Yesterday their computer system was down and she was talking about how frustrating it was for her staff. Then I said that it is companies like mine that keep your sad little company afloat.

I can shit on my job as much as I want to and it doesn't matter. Someone else commenting on it is different. Its like how a person can pick on their siblings, but will come to their defense if some stranger does the same thing.

I think I know what bothers me about Brenda sometimes. She is so focused on making money, that she seems to miss out what I think is important in life. Art, books, film and music mean so much more to me than money and the acquisition of it. Some might argue that they make money from art, but I guess that I believe in some kind of moral code.

Now that I think about it some more, I know what makes Brenda and I different. She lives for her job. I, on the other hand, keep my personal life away from my job.

Yes, I am naive, but money doesn't make me happy. I know that I can't live without it, but it is not my reason for being.

I am starting to think that June is too far away again. Next week I am going to revise the resume and start looking around.

Yesterday Nick had left early for the day. This left Tony and I in charge. Everything was running smooth until the final two hours of the day. It got so bad that I ended up staying late, which is not something that I like to do.

Tomorrow I will probably be unable to upload an entry. Brenda wants me for the day, unless I do something really wrong. God, I sound so pathetic.

Party tonight. Details to follow on Sunday.