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The Parting Its amazing how a few words can change my life in an instant. Brenda said that we shouldn't live together and I agreed with her. I left her place about an hour ago and she was crying. Things will never be the same between us. I can sense the change in her. I can not give her what she wants. Living with her would slowly destroy me. She needs someone twenty-four hours a day. She needs people. Brenda wants a baby. She wants to be a mom. A few months back, my mom said that both Brenda and I were desperate. Neither one of us wanted to be alone. Maybe it wouldn't happen a few months from now. Maybe it would happen in a few weeks. Something would go wrong between us that we couldn't fix. Brenda said that I made her happy. I want to cry and I do. I don't feel good about what happened, but maybe its the best for both of us. I am sure that my life will be completely different a year from now. I can lose myself in my new job. Its quarter to eleven at night and I don't feel like doing anything. Brenda and I will probably never speak again. The easy thing would be to say that its all a part of life. Brenda will go on and so will I. There was a time months ago, when I moved out while she was gone. I told myself that if she didn't call me, then it was the end. She called me and we worked through it. Now Brenda blames me in part for losing her apartment. She paid month by month, so she could have waited to give notice. She complained about the apartment once a week anyway. Now I am the one causing the pain, because I didn't say anything sooner. I thought that our arguments were enough of a sign. We did have very little in common. Now I am the asshole. It doesn't matter all of the things that I did for her. At first she was nonchalant when she said it. We had fun she said and I agreed. We just didn't have enough to build a future together. I'm hurt and so is Brenda. Maybe I got what I wanted. Now its just me again. I have no one to argue with anymore. No one to yell at me when I don't do the dishes. No one to wake me up when I am snoring.
audio input at the moment: music doesn't matter
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