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My last Monday What follows is what part of me wants to and may very well say to Brenda the next time that we speak. It all depends on her. Some people might see this as being cruel, but I feel that most people can be cruel and I am no exception. Well, you should be happy now, because you have effectively removed me from your life. I was the source of your misery after all. My identity as a person no longer matters to you. You got to vent on me and then hoped that I would go away. You were wrong. I can give as good as you can when it comes to handing out damning statements. Now you can devote all of your time to your job again. It is what gives your life meaning after all. Then in your spare time your aunt and you can refer to me by a derogatory nickname and giggle with one another. I am no longer there to stand in your way. I am not there to force you to cook. I am not there to force you to do laundry. Your sister often told me to tell you to shut the fuck up, but I never did. I thought that you deserved better. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe you do need someone who will boss you around. You spend all day bossing people, so you need someone to boss you. I find all of this to be very sad. You are a very controlling person, but I know that this hides all of your insecurities. I doubt that I would be able to get all of the above out without her trying to interject something. Then again she might just stand there. Most of this rant was hatched in the early morning hours of the day. Today was the last Monday I will work in a long time. When I move to third shift next week, Monday will mean the weekend to me. Third shift should effectivly limit me from meeting any new women. If I do they will have to accept that Friday night is not a reality for me. Friday night will end shortly before midnight and then I will have to abandon Cinderella. Whoever that woman might be would have to really love me to give up the all America night to party and cut loose. She would also have to accept the fact that she would only see me at night, because I would get home in the morning after she went to her job. I know most women would be unhappy with this arrangement and Brenda would be one of them. My understanding is that my third shift tour will end after a year. I am sure that by then I will be able to make a transfer to a different shift. Maybe I will be ready for yet another raise by then as well. I spent a year on third at my last job and then moved to first shift with a nice increase in salary so I know that it is possible. Here I am the money grubbing capitalist pig only concerned about my career. Uh huh, whatever. If I have learned anything about life, it is that very little is certain. So much can happen within the space of a year. I slipped back into my old after work routine. I get home at roughly five thirty, eat something and then slip into a semi sleep state for about an hour. While I am lying there, the classical music station plays in the background. The music works well until a more upbeat piece comes on and interferes with my sleep. Around seven thirty I start to come back to life and end up staying awake until midnight. Brenda never would have tolerated this behavior. She saw this as being lazy. Well, maybe if I was riding a beer and nicotine high like her after work then I would see things a little differently. The weather has become sub tropical here in Wisconsin and I am starting to like it.
audio input at the moment: Abbey Road - The Beatles
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