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Renting frenzy

I neglected to mention what I bought last night when I went shopping. I was in my Martha Stewart mode and bought some new curtains for my bedroom and some candles for my living room.

After I made my purchases I hit the video store and loaded up on movies. The clerk seemed a little surprised when I brought four videos to the counter. The way I look at it I have one new one for the next four days. My selection includes: Macbeth (the Roman Polanski version), White with Julie Delpy, Homegrown directed by Billy Bob Thornton and The House of Yes with Parker Posey.

I had heard that the Polanski version was graphic, but it did still surprise me at times. Then when I saw that it had been funded by Playboy, I understood why the witches were nude in a few scenes.

The cast shadows from the flickering candles are a nice addition to my living room. Its been a long time since I've had any candles here, which leads me to my next thought. Maybe I will get a Christmas tree year. Then I'll have something else that will shine at night besides the candles.

Conversations with Brenda are very strange now. Even more strange than they were before. Both of us know the habits of the other person so very little of what we say to one another is new. As individuals we have remained the same. Neither of us is there to influence the other person anymore.

Part of me has to wonder if she expects me to be depressed now that I am no longer with her.

As cruel as it may sound she still disappoints me from time to time and maybe that is part of the reason it didn't work. She said that she could never make me happy, while I felt the same way about her. I told her that I saw Henry Rollins and she had no audible reaction. I am sure that she has no idea who he is or what he does, but what bothered me is that she didn't even feign any interest. In the beginning she said that we had a lot to learn from one another, but I guess those were just words. I learned things from her, but what did she learn from me. Was all that I cared about that unimportant to her?

She is on vacation this week and was cleaning when she was on the phone with me. She never changes.

Last year at this time I saw a live production of Macbeth. This Saturday I am going to see The Glass Menagerie for the first time.

I believe that the poetic word for todays weather would be blustery. Clouds and leaves moved in unison throughout the day.


audio input at the moment: Girlfriend - Matthew Sweet
visual input at the moment: Macbeth - Roman Polanski version
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