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urge to wander I don't even remember what time it was when I woke up this morning and I see that as a good thing. Not knowing or even caring what time it is means that I am relaxed which is what I want on my weekends. Tuesday mornings are meant to be lazy and I sleep as long as I want free of any guilt. Then when I finally do shower and start the day, I lounge around the house reading magazines and listening to music. Every so often I'll step outside onto my porch to see what the weather is doing, but the overall mood is slow and aimless. Sitting outside today wasn't as appealing of an option since the sun from yesterday had been replaced with clouds. Warm calm had given way to a brisk breeze, so I hid inside and briefly contemplated going to see a movie. In the end I decided that I had enough to keep me occupied at home and wouldn't venture out. I could have some solid computer time and then launch into a new book since I finally finished the Steinbeck book. Even better was the fact that I didn't hear anyone downstairs and I could relax and enjoy being home. Lately just knowing that they are around bothers me and I can't wait for them to move out. On a related note, I wish I had a definite answer about where I am going to live the rest of the year. The inspector came through yesterday afternoon with the undeclared new owner with him. They made some idle chatter with me, but mostly kept to themselves so at this moment I have no idea if I am going to be asked to stay or told that I have to leave. Maybe I'll know more in a few days when I hand over my rent check for May. My biggest problem is that I have no desire to speak with the current owners to get more information and I will deal with whatever that they have to say as impersonally as possible. As a precaution I am trying to limit my spending just in case I have to come up with the cash for a sudden move. There are moments when I don't really understand the world around me and I wonder how we reached what we call modern society. Everything is so accelerated and what we consider important jobs today would have had no meaning to people a century ago. To be less extreme most of the present day computer jobs were unheard of just a couple decades ago. What we see as a viable part of society didn't exist until recently. Oh, I know that articles have been floating around for years talking about the move from an industrial society to a service oriented one, but it still strikes me as being strange and more than a little sad. On a daily basis people rely on machines that they could not possibly reproduce without having even more technology at their disposal. There was a time when humanity used tools made from things that surrounded them. Now we use things that are almost beyond nature. Maybe all of this is coming from my recent viewing of the Terry Gilliam film Brazil with its distrust of technology and bureaucracy. Part of me wishes that I could just take a year of my life and drop out of what we call modern society and explore the world. What would it be like to not have to go to a job? What would it be like not to have to worry about money? What if I was free to travel and see the world? Would the power to do whatever I wanted for a year send me over the edge? Would the lack of responsibility make me feel uncomfortable? Would things make more sense to me? What revelations might I have in my travels? Of course I might return even more confused than I was when I first left. A world without monetary concerns is unknown to me, but I am not saying that I want to win the lottery. I just want to see the world from a different perspective for a time and not having to worry about money would make it so much easier. Steinbeck said in his book Travels with Charley that it was the restless people of the world that came here and formed America and I agree. I only have to look back to my grandfather to see someone that meets that description. Oh, money may have been an important factor, but the rush of going to see and live in another country must have been in there somewhere as well. All of it makes my life seem so humble.
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