Sonya and I have the trip back to Memphis down to a science. She drives out of New Orleans. I nap. We stop in Gluckstadt, just north of Jackson, Mississippi, to get gas, walk the dog, use the bathroom and buy some little square Krystal cheeseburgers to get us the rest of the way back to Memphis. I usually pop a few over-the-counter stimulants - Mini Thins, Stacker II, something like that - and wash them down with a Red Bull while I'm eating my Krystals. Then I drive the rest of the way to Memphis.

But this time they fucked it all up.

We went inside the Exxon/Krystal combo place and were informed - just moments after eight at night, mind you - that the Krystal was no longer taking orders for the night.

"What?" Sonya asked, dumbfounded.

"We closed," the girl behind the counter said as she handed other people their orders. I suppose they had arrived before eight.