I haven't seen any jobs in the papers this week, and even Monster hasn't had anything. It's very disheartening. I've assured the coworkers I'm going to end up sucking off hobos down by the tracks in exchange for quarters and half-empty bottles of Thunderbird.

"Ouch," Coworker Erik said, "that's a little too close to joke about."

"Oh, don't take it seriously, Erik," I told him, "I'd never drink Thunderbird."