Funny Things I Saw Today

1. At a bus stop on Canal, a woman was wearing a t-shirt. You've seen these t-shirts: they're covered with text - hip hop lyrics, mostly, though sometimes it's Bible verses - and there's usually a picture of someone who's died.

   Or maybe you haven't seen these t-shirts. Is it just a New Orleans thing? I don't know. Anyway...

   The woman's wearing the t-shirt. Over a picture of a nondescript, somewhat thuggish young man it says

   I AIN'T DEAD, MOTHA FUCKA

   and under the picture it says

   1981-2002

   And I'm all thinkin, "so wait. He really is dead, right?"

2. I was driving down St. Charles next to a wrecker. It was towing a blue car that had obviously run into a light pole or tree or some such; the front was all accordioned in, especially in the middle.

   What were the words on the side of the car?

   NEW ORLEANS SAFE DRIVING SCHOOL

   Why didn't I have a camera?

   "I guess someone failed," I said when I told Sonya about it later.