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more mixed emotions Ann called me at work this morning. It was two o'clock, but that wasn't so unusual since those are the hours that I work. She was just calling to check in and see if there had been any fallout from the bad day that she had had on Sunday. When I had left everything was fine, but when she was there a large percentage of our clients started to have some telecommunications issues. With it being the Sunday before a holiday, this left her all alone in trying to fix it and from what I heard she was overwhelmed. I had heard about this Tuesday night, but hearing it from her made me even more concerned. I could tell from some of the documentation that she wrote that she was extremely frustrated, but there wasn't anything that I could do about it. Part of me wondered why she didn't call me on Sunday, but she probably figured that I was sleeping. ... I don't mind when she calls, but I know that I do lower my voice when she does. I guess that I don't want to draw that much attention to myself. Not everything that we talk about is business related. She doesn't have to identify herself. I just know that it is her from the voice. We have that level of familiarity and I did miss that for the past few days. It seems that she would have been home already except that she made a wrong turn and had almost gone an hour in the opposite direction before she realized her mistake. Her voice kept fading in and out on the phone, but I don't think that she knew it. She was telling me about her trip and how I need to come with her next time. She wants me to be there to keep her awake and so that she can show me around the town. I didn't quite know what to say except okay. It was so unexpected. She didn't like my cautious tone and decided that I must have been tired of talking. I wasn't, but that didn't stop her from hanging up. It was not the way that I wanted to end the conversation and I felt guilty for the next two hours. I didn't want her to be angry with me. I just didn't know how to respond. Going out to see a show is one thing, but spending a weekend together takes us to another level. I don't think she knows how much of an effect that she has on me. Or maybe she does know and that was why she was expecting to me be more excited. I don't know. ... Work surprised me again this morning. It would appear that they do have faith in me and know that I do my job well. The reason that I know this is true is that the lead person from first shift asked me if I was intersted in moving to first shift. There will be a person leaving in October and they have yet to fill the spot. He partly realized that I am not exactly a first shift kind of person and that I would be giving up my autonomy if I did change shifts. Things would not be the same and he didn't hide that fact. Not having to wear a tie is high priority on my list and I have a feeling that they wouldn't up my salary that much if I made the switch. In fact they might just consider it a lateral move and not change anything. ... Well, I think that I can safely dispel any more fantasies of Ann and I getting any closer in the future. From the non verbal clues that I saw when I walked in the door at work, I would have to say that her old boyfriend and father of the yet unborn child is trying to make a reconciliation. Sitting directly in front of Ann was a glass vase full of roses. I was not the one that gave them to her. About the only things that Ann said to me were completely work related. She gave me the current status of what our department was watching and that was about the extent of it. As to why the flowers were there was not mentioned, nor did I ask. I did, however, ask when she got home last night and she said about an hour after she had spoken with me on the telephone. Her tone was subdued the entire time that our shifts overlapped. Then she made a phone call where I could hear some murmuring, which was quickly followed by crying. She then hung up, said that she wasn't feeling well and went home shortly thereafter. I guess that it is time for me to step back and let her sort out whatever she needs to do, which may be the best course of action. My life is going fine and letting myself get caught in an emotional whirlwind may not be a good idea. I do, however, hope that it all works out for her. ... After Ann went home the running joke for most of the night was who brought me flowers. I quickly said that Nicole did, but she didn't say anything.
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