|
walking forward again Work depressed me more so than usual last night. More than once I just sat in my chair looking into space feeling myself fall ever inward wondering why I was there. To break the monotony I would walk out of the room to stare out the window into the night. Eight plus hours of that kind of activity feels like an eternity. Then when I walked out the door to go home in the morning, I felt better immediately. For a moment I wondered why that might be, but then realized that I already know the answer. I want to work somewhere else. Nothing new there. ... Nicole didn't speak to me once last night and for some reason it really bothered me. With it being her first night back, she was her usual tired self trying to find time to nap so she really wasn't in a mood for talking. I understood that part, but a simple hello when she breezed through the room before her lunch break would have been nice. Sigh. Later in the morning I stopped by to visit, but she was on the telephone at the time so all that I could do was give her a kiss on the cheek and a wave goodbye. My day was almost over and I knew that I would see her at night. Looking back at my reaction does make me feel silly, but at the time I was a little hurt by what I saw as her indifference towards me. Obviously I care too much about her than I should and at times I start to fit the role of a Shakespearean character. I want someone when they are with someone else and that isn't going to change. I just wish that I wasn't so attracted to her. ... When I asked someone at work about the marathon that he had recently run, he said that it was his tenth one and I was impressed. It was what he did for fun and in some ways I could understand. Anyone can go to Disneyland for a vacation. As we talked some more I found out that he used to do combination running and cycling events, but stopped with the triatholon stuff because he was a poor swimmer. I then asked what he thought about the people who did the Eco Challenge and he said that those people were nuts. That was too much for him. ... Not that it really matters to anyone except myself, but there was a time when I abandoned comic books as a hobby. In fact I was so disgusted with the industry that I stayed away for almost four years. Then that day when I walked back into a comic shop it was like magic. Oh, I had missed some truly bad stuff, but I also came back in time for some memorable reading.
|