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give me heat Lately the days have been slow for me. To be more specific, I have fallen into a steady routine of work and sleep with very little deviation. I wake up in the afternoon, shower, eat, go to work and then come back home to sleep. Then when I wake up I do it all over again. I'm not complaining or whining. I'm just stating the truth. To make a break from this cycle I am thinking about another vacation for sometime in April. At the moment travel seems to be one of the few things that keeps my interest. My last trip worked wonders for me and I want to recapture some of that feeling. I find it odd that I dwell within a world where leisure activities are so important. Now that I think about it some more maybe it does make sense. I know that when I wake up there will be food to eat and a job to go to at night. My life is stable and dependable. It isn't as though I am struggling for food or shelter on a daily basis, so my focus has to go somewhere else. Other people are concerned with making more money than they already do and this is understandable to a point. We live in a country where the overriding message is to grab all that you can. A professor that I knew in college called it the plight of the middle class. I, however, sometimes I wonder if I lack ambition or the madness just doesn't affect me as much as other people. For the moment I have what I need as far as money is concerned. Of course if I had more money I would probably be travelling more frequently than I do now. I wonder why I lost the ability to appreciate the small moments in a day. Suddenly I am craving melodrama and this may or may not be a good idea. Another thought that occurred to me is that I haven't spoken to any of my friends here in Milwaukee since I got back from California. Then again this really isn't that strange for me. With the exception of the time when I lived with past girlfriends I usually hang out by myself most of the time. Generally speaking I can keep myself entertained and don't need to surround myself with people. It isn't as though I craft this loner image of mine, it just sort of happened somewhere along the line. After college my roommates went their way and I went mine. It was just a natural part of life, because people are bound to drift apart over time. College was the last time that I had or maybe even desired a tight social circle. Then there is the awkward element of being the single friend when most of my old roommates are married. There is a an underlying vibe that my life is not the same as theirs. I am sure that none of this is intentional, but I can still feel it when I am with them. They interact with someone on a daily basis, when I may not speak to anyone for an entire weekend. Sometimes it bothers me and I just don't want to deal with it so I keep to myself. Now begins the evening portion of the entry. I can't stress enough that these entries are written at different parts of the day. In some ways I really see them as two different days, because the mood changes so much. The opening paragraphs were written in the early morning hours before sunrise in the silence of work. Maybe I should start to time stamp the paragraphs to give a better understanding of my life. It took me an hour of being home to realize it, but my heat was off this morning. It isn't as though I am shivering on a daily basis, but this is the fourth time that my heat has gone off this winter and I am getting tired of it. After I got the heat back on, I went to sleep with extra blankets in case it went off again while I was sleeping. The extra blankets were a good idea, because the heat was off when I woke up. Thankfully I was warm enough and the cold didn't wake me up. The heat going off twice in one day is not acceptable. I had mentioned the first time to my landlord, but I didn't have a chance to mention the second time. If the heat is off when I get home in the morning I am going to be livid. I dreamt about a girl I knew in high school and I have no idea why my mind decided to bring her to surface. We really didn't know one another very well, we just happened to ride the bus together in the morning. Maybe I was attracted to her and didn't know it. What I do know is that the last time that I saw her was over five years ago. If people don't like the poet soldiers of The Thin Red Line, then rent Das Boot and root for the Nazis. Trust me you will feel for them and not see them as the enemy. Personally I think that it buries Saving Private Ryan in terms of emotional impact.
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