Michelangelo sibyl from the Sistine Chapel

 

falling inward

There are some days when I am completely pathetic and today was one of them. What happens is that I sometimes fall so far into myself that I can't escape my own thoughts. If I am in a good mood, then this is fine, but if I start to get a little depressed there is very little to stop the fall. I just keep on tumbling further and further down until I hit bottom.

Usually a day alone with my thoughts is okay, but today was not of those days. What I should have done is called someone or at least made an attempt to have some more human contact than I did. All that I would have needed was a simple conversation for a few minutes. Another human voice would have been enough to change my entire mood, but it didn't happen.

Once again I was awake at four in the morning and everything was fine. I was busy getting things done on the computer and sorting through paperwork. Then as the day progressed I lost all ambition and ended up falling asleep. The next time that I opened my eyes it was noon. True this still left me with half the day, but I never quite got back to speed. The momentum was lost. Like yesterday the day started well enough, but ended poorly. Somehow I have to break this pattern on my weekends.

 
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